J. L. Spohr
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Author Photo Vote

3/29/2014

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New book means new author photo! Thanks to the amazing Karly Lee, I can't seem to decided which photo to make "official" and I need your help!

Remember, it needs to be scaleable (look good small and large). Also, any of these could be color or black and white, so let me know in the comments section which you prefer.

Thanks for your vote! 
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Photo 1
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Photo 2
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Photo 3
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Photo 4
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Lucky Strikes

3/20/2014

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PictureI love how there's a garnish. Cause I'm really going to eat it raw.
I was t-boned today. It sounds worse than it was - both myself and my five-year old are fine (Nana), saving some sore muscles. But it got me thinking about fate, luck, and lessons we don't want to learn.

When I got in the car to head out, there was a cyclist about fifty yards behind me. What to do. Do I pull out and speed up to beat him? We were running late as it was...Or do I politely wait for him to pedal past? 

I have an overly developed sense of people-pleasing. This is not always a good thing - like when reading Goodreads reviews. If I offend a complete stranger who I will never see again, I still ruminate on it for days - like the time I accidentally cut in front of someone in line at a play and she gave me that withering look. I mean, c'mon Spohr, get over it. All this to say, I waited for the biker to huff and puff past me lest he glare at my house every time he rode by in the future. The house could take it, but I can't.

Anyhow, I get to our stoplight and it turns green. My daughter's asking me a question and then SLAM. Guy runs in to the right side of my car. I've been in three (now four) car accidents in my life and when they say time slows down, it's true. Except not this time. This time it felt like less than a blink of an eye. CRUNCH. Holy &$#@. 

The reaction of the other drivers on the road was peculiar too. No one stopped to either gawk or help. Indeed someone even honked at me, as if I'd just decided to park my car at forty-five degree angle in the middle of a lane of traffic for kicks and giggles. 

PictureSarah Palin would be jealous.
So what's so lucky about all of this? Well, first, foremost, and thanking God, no one needed hospitalization. Lucky strike one. 

Lucky strike two - the car wasn't totaled and was drivable enough to get my kid to preschool, but not much further.

Lucky strike three: the guy who hit me. He immediately admitted fault. None of this "well, maybe the light wasn't green" nonsense. He profusely apologized, and handed me his license and insurance. When my mind was considering going all Mama Bear on this dude, his humility and sincerity completely threw me. So I smiled instead of growled. I wanted him to not feel so bad, instead of wanting to lawyer up. He's already called the body shop and the rental car agency to set up payment. This guy's golden. 

So when I think back, thinking about the butterfly effect of my waiting for the biker, how if I hadn't, I also would not have been hit, I can't help but see the lucky silver lining in all this. If I hadn't been hit, I never would have seen how people aren't always out for themselves. How the simple act of humility could so drastically change a situation - I lesson I sure as the dickens need to learn. 

Of course, I'm not glad I got hit, and sure, my own act of hurried self-importance of cutting off a biker may have prevented it, but in the end, maybe I was lucky after all. 

Be safe, be good, and buckle up, friends. 


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Happy Pi(E) Day

3/14/2014

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It's Pi Day - March 14 or "3.14" a day we're *supposed* to celebrate all things math. Well, as a Barbie doll once said, "math is hard," so, since pi numerically represents a circle and pies are round...someone brilliant on the internets came up with celebrating Pi Day with pie. You're welcome.

In honor of this mathematic delight, I thought I'd share the recipe for my Famous (to at least 31 some odd people. And I mean odd.) Key Lime Pie recipe. Why key lime? Well, following up on the heels of Pi day is none other than St. Patrick's Day. So now you'll have something green...at least on your insides. You may just want to read the recipe for kicks and giggles as well, for what is a pie recipe without commentary?


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Jennie's Florida Throw Down Key Lime Pie

Lime Filling

4   teaspoons grated lime zest

1/2  cup lime juice from 3 to 4 limes

4    large egg yolks

1    (14-ounce) can sweetened condensed milk

Graham Cracker Coconut Crust


8   graham crackers, crushed to fine crumbs 

1/2 cup sweetened shredded coconut

3   tablespoons granulated sugar

2 pinches salt  

Meringue (because whip cream is for the lazy) Topping

8 eggs whites

3 tablespoons sugar

1/4 teaspoon vanilla

lime zest garnish

Heat oven to 325      

1. For the Filling: Whisk zest and yolks in medium bowl until tinted light green, about 2 minutes. And by light green I do not mean the chartreuse-green of your 1987 Zebraclub t-shirt. Don't put filth that color in your mouth please. Now beat in milk, then juice; set aside at room temperature to thicken.

2. For the Crust: Mix crumbs, coconut, salt and sugar in medium bowl. Add butter and mix with fingers until well blended. Press mixture into 9-inch pie pan to form even crust. Bake until golden about 15 minutes. Let cool about 20 minutes. Go stare at your filling again. It should be thickened. Isn't chemistry cool? At least that's what my high school chemistry teacher tried to tell me. Nice try, Mr. Ramey, nice try.

3. Pour now thickened filling into cooled crust; bake until center is set. 15 to 17 minutes. It can wiggle - just a little bit, just like the "2 In A Room's" 80's hit. 

4. For Meringue: Yes. That's totally how you spell it. I know it looks like we should pronounce it "mer-ing-you-ee," but there's no accounting for the French.
Beat egg whites and vanilla until frothy - like your Aunt Tilly after two drinks. Beat in sugar, 1 tablespoon at a time until whites forms soft peaks -like the clouds a pegasus would live on. Think about your old My Little Pony collection and try to recall what a unicorn and pegasus combined was called. Continue to beat meringue into submissive stiff glossy peaks. 

Picturehello!
Once you take the pie out of the oven, immediately spread meringue evenly around edge then center of pie. Make sure meringue attaches to pie crust to prevent shrinkage. We all know what shrinkage leads to and its why only apparently Daniel Craig looks good coming out of the ocean. Use spoon to create peaks all over meringue. Bake pie until meringue peaks are golden brown, about 20 minutes. That sounds profoundly sexual with a picture of mostly naked Daniel right here. Enjoy. Sprinkle with love and lime zest. And maybe invite me and Daniel Craig over. I think we both like pie. 

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The Freedom of free

3/6/2014

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This is a repost, but since I'm doing a Lenten 99cent deal, thought I'd bring this one back from the archives.

There is a lot of back and forth in the creative world about giving one’s work away for free. The consensus seems to be that no self-respecting artists should do it, and even non-self-respecting artists should respect other artists trying to scrape a living. 

I say, hogwash. 

Let me back up. My book Heirs & Spares, the first in a series, is about the need for a royal baby – an heir, as it were. So in honor of England’s newest heir, I put the e-version of Heirs & Spares on Amazon for free on Prince George’s birthday and the four days following. I was hoping for maybe five-hundred downloads total for the week. That would’ve been fantastic.

I had five-hundred downloads in the first three hours.

PictureListing of historical romance, day two.
By the end of the second day, my book was in the top one hundred of all free e-books. By the end of the third day, I was beating Charles Dickens, Jane Austen and the Bible. The flippin’ Bible! By the end of the five-day stint, I was number three in historical fiction, number forty-five for all books (fiction and non) and I had nearly ten thousand downloads world-wide. Ten flippin' thousand.

Never in my wildest dreams did I think that many people would respond to my book so quickly. And since my last name is neither Rowling nor King, no publicity campaign in the world could have given me exposure to ten thousand readers globally. And the kicker? It was free for me too. I didn’t have to pay a publicist, I just had to click a button. Ok, two buttons. 

Sure, not all those people will read it. And sure, not all the people who read it will like it. But even if a mere ten-percent of those people read Heirs & Spares, that’s still one thousand people who likely never would have heard of me or my book. One thousand people who may buy the next book in the series or who may tell a friend to buy one of the books. One thousand people who will plunge in to the world I’ve spent four years creating for them. 

Do I want my books to make money? Of course. I have people to pay and mouths to feed. But ultimately, the reason I write, and the reason, I’d argue, most artists create, is for others to participate. I write, not only for my own joy, but to share that joy with others.

Art is meant to be seen, music to be heard, and books to be read. I could chose to feel very smug about not “cheapening my art” and have it only be read by a few paying customers. Or I can embrace the whole reason I write in the first place - to tell people stories - and strive to get that story in to as many hands as possible. 

There is another side of the monetary coin as well. Once I commoditize my work, my work becomes entirely about gains and losses. Some of that is a good thing – we need to pay people for work well done. But in another way, when a specific price is put on art, that price becomes what it is “worth.” A $14.99 paperback, a $24.99 hardback, a $3.99 e-book. Three price tags for my heart and soul poured out for you on the page. 

PictureSee? Even the logo is smiling.
And that is why I unabashedly love Amazon. Amazon has given me the freedom to break free from the chains of a mere price tag. I can change the price whenever I want to, whenever I need to. I’m not bound to someone else’s bottom line, someone else’s idea of what my work is worth. I have the freedom to spread my art willy-nilly. 

In fact, in honor of it being Lent, a time to reflect on what's really important in life, Heirs & Spares' e-version is on sale for 99 cents. For forty days. Yes, that is the same price as the malodorous leopard mink Macklemore wears in “Thrift Shop.” But to take Macklemore’s advice, “Give it to the people; spread it across the country."

I think I just will. 

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