Yes. I read the book. All three in fact. I had to for my job as producer and host of a podcast about ideas that matter in culture. I got a lot of grief producing that show. We were known for plumbing the artistic and theological depths and how dare we give air time to the likes of "that" book?
Of course, we did do a show on The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo with nary a peep of protest. A book which depicts brutal rape, gruesome detailed descriptions of sexualized murder, a nearing Boomer sleeping with every woman in his path, including the nubile, barely twenty-something Girl, and sprinkled liberally with multiple male fantasy lesbian sex scenes.
Of course, we did do a show on The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo with nary a peep of protest. A book which depicts brutal rape, gruesome detailed descriptions of sexualized murder, a nearing Boomer sleeping with every woman in his path, including the nubile, barely twenty-something Girl, and sprinkled liberally with multiple male fantasy lesbian sex scenes.
Where was all the protest on that one? It was made in to films on each side of the Atlantic, with barely a whisper of offense. Indeed, author Stieg Larson was held up like Eddie Vedder above a mosh pit as a feminist poster boy. His heroine is bold, stands up to men, makes her own rules. And yet, Lisbeth Salandar is a shell of a human being, so hollowed out by horror that her only motivation for even breathing is violence and vengeance. The perfect picture of the modern women. How dare we call his book's sexual content in to question? It's art. He's a man, so he should know.
Which brings me to my frustration with all this 50 Shades of Grey hate: since it is a book about a woman enjoying lots and lots of sex, written by a woman, it is automatically wrong, wrong, wrong. Because woman are either virgins or whores and there is no in between.
Which brings me to my frustration with all this 50 Shades of Grey hate: since it is a book about a woman enjoying lots and lots of sex, written by a woman, it is automatically wrong, wrong, wrong. Because woman are either virgins or whores and there is no in between.
Even feminists are pouring on the hate. And I get it, we've been fighting against the misconception that domination by males is What Women Want. We don't want the Second Wave sexual revolution to be based on women "submitting." We want to be unshackled in our sexual freedom, not blindfolded and trussed up like a Thanksgiving turkey for a man drooling like Wile-E Coyote.
And yet, if you read the books, the heroine's goal is to actually lift Mr. Grey out of his domineering ways and, of course, she eventually succeeds...along the way, she surprisingly enjoys an orgasmic spanking. Not my kinda hanky-panky, but, as my Nana used to say, there's no accounting for taste. Anastasia, while dabbling in Christian's fetish out of curiosity, is decidedly against the whole submission thing, and even takes to domineering Mr. Grey sexually. So what's all the shouting about?
And yet, if you read the books, the heroine's goal is to actually lift Mr. Grey out of his domineering ways and, of course, she eventually succeeds...along the way, she surprisingly enjoys an orgasmic spanking. Not my kinda hanky-panky, but, as my Nana used to say, there's no accounting for taste. Anastasia, while dabbling in Christian's fetish out of curiosity, is decidedly against the whole submission thing, and even takes to domineering Mr. Grey sexually. So what's all the shouting about?
Read most genre fiction by men, your Patterson's, your Connelly's, your Grisham's and you will find the classic, degrading, sexualized females abounding, but no one is out there shouting about the evils of these books. Or the movies they are made into. Oh maybe a murmur here and there about Red Weddings and rape scenes. Maybe a chuckle about how official business matters are discussed in rooms filled with naked, panting prostitutes on basically any cable show. But hey, R. R. Martin's a genius, right? Patterson's the bread and butter of the publishing industry. The Soprano's was revolutionary. Don Draper's just misunderstood. They're men. It's art.
But a woman...a woman writing about sex...sex that involves red rooms and handcuffs between two consenting, albeit feeble minded and thinly drawn adults, that is a no-no.
But a woman...a woman writing about sex...sex that involves red rooms and handcuffs between two consenting, albeit feeble minded and thinly drawn adults, that is a no-no.
I am not saying these Grey books are good, either artistically or as a guide for what a healthy relationship, sexual or otherwise, looks like. What I'm saying is, what scares me more than the thought that women and girls may want to emulate Anastasia is that, as a society, we continue to shame the weak, the less powerful. And women are still in that boat. We point to any women who got tingles in her pants upon reading The Elevator Scene as wanton sluts, to be shunned by misogynists and feminists alike. Did you know that women used to be put in asylums for enjoying sex? People thought the female orgasm was a disease and called it hysteria. Look at that whore. Who does she think she is? She's out of her mind.
Want to talk about unhealthy attitudes about women? What would our world be like if the unfettered hate that has been unfurled upon 50 Shades was turned upon the porn industry? Or sex trafficking? While the Superbowl was sad for the Seahawks, it was horrific for the women forced to service the throngs of disappointed or jubilant men...
But don't get me started.
We can criticize the sexual ethics of 50 Shades all we want, but in the same breath we must recognize the deafening silence when the same stale, pathetic, swoony women are continuously and unabashedly displayed in fiction, television, and film created by men. And for all those women who like their sex and their reading hot around the edges? I hope you painted your bedroom red and posted it on Pintrest. No shame, baby. Oh...my.
Want to talk about unhealthy attitudes about women? What would our world be like if the unfettered hate that has been unfurled upon 50 Shades was turned upon the porn industry? Or sex trafficking? While the Superbowl was sad for the Seahawks, it was horrific for the women forced to service the throngs of disappointed or jubilant men...
But don't get me started.
We can criticize the sexual ethics of 50 Shades all we want, but in the same breath we must recognize the deafening silence when the same stale, pathetic, swoony women are continuously and unabashedly displayed in fiction, television, and film created by men. And for all those women who like their sex and their reading hot around the edges? I hope you painted your bedroom red and posted it on Pintrest. No shame, baby. Oh...my.
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